INTJ and ESFP
What is it with INTJ and ESFP?
First, to dispel a myth — ESFP is not the opposite of INTJ; it’s the “inverse” or “complement” of INTJ. This is because they share the same top four preferred cognitive processes. (The true “opposite” of INTJ is ENTP!)
It seems that INTJ and ESFP are often attracted to each other and many wonder why. Let’s look at the Cognitive Process mappings of each, along with the archetypes (positive aspect; negative aspect) representing each Cognitive Process:
INTJ ESFP
Ni Se Leading; Dominating
Te Fi Supporting; Overprotective
Fi Te Relief; Unsettling
Se Ni Aspirational; Projective
Ne Si Backup; Opposing
Ti Fe Discovery; Critical
Fe Ti Comedic; Deceiving
Si Ne Transformative; Devilish
So in the case of an INTJ interacting with an ESFP, there’s mutual admiration for each other’s “Leading” Cognitive Process, since it represents the “Aspirational” of the other. However, problems can occur if the Leading Cognitive Process becomes too “Dominating” and/or the aspirational Cognitive Process begins to become “Projective”.
The second Cognitive Process of each is “Supporting” and offers “Relief” for the other, but could become problematic if the supporting role becomes “Overprotective”, leading to an “Unsettling” reaction in the other.
Both INTJ and ESFP have common blind spots when using Ne, Ti, Fe and Si. Since these four Cognitive Processes are all in the shadow of both, real problems can occur when circumstances force their use, since neither type prefers them.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:12 am
i dont think its a good match (intj and esfp)
April 14th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Dayl, care to say more?
April 30th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
It is not a good match. Early is life it may work, but they can grow apart very easily later in life.
May 5th, 2009 at 2:48 am
Chappie, the same could be said about *any* combination of personality types. However, having an understanding of type theory can go a long way toward ensuring harmony.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:38 am
I find ENFPs attractive always. Ne + Ni perhaps?
May 5th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Elliot, that could be so. Or it might be their Auxiliary Fi meshing with your Tertiary Fi.
May 7th, 2009 at 3:38 am
intj and esfp have Contrary relations between psychological (”personality”) types
These are relations of an unstable psychological distance. Both partners experience difficulties in establishing and keeping a stable psychological distance between them. The only chance Contrary partners have to get on together well with each other is if they are left alone. In other cases partners usually compete over their strong sides. The reason for this is when somebody else is present, each partner tries to capture the attention of the listener by showing off their strong side. Contrary partners may like some elements of the other partner’s behaviour. This often helps the partners to begin a more close relationship. However, when they are in company, their interaction can change dramatically. The introvert partner usually becomes distant, relations lose warm feelings and become formal and cautious. Both partners may start regretting that they became too trustful.
The extrovert partner normally gets the false impression that the introvert partner is deliberately acting against them. This can bring a great deal of misunderstanding and surprise into these relations, as both partners are convinced that before everything was fine. The introvert partner usually starts suppressing the activity of the extrovert partner and may reproach and criticise them. The extrovert partner in return can behave in the same way.
The most vulnerable position in these relations belongs to the extrovert partner, who may feel as if they are being betrayed. As a result the extrovert partner could start to worry excessively about their next step so as not to make any mistakes and may therefore become very suspicious. Unfortunately the extrovert partner cannot see that their introvert partner is not as bad as they have begun to imagine.
Contrary pairs:
ENTp - INTp
ISFp - ESFp
ESFj - ISFj
INTj - ENTj
ENFj - INFj
ISTj - ESTj
ESTp - ISTp
INFp - ENFp
May 7th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
This last comment is merely a copy-and-paste of the Socionics text on the “Conflicting” types of relationships. I’m disappointed that you do not give your name, nor do you offer any original opinion of your own. The text in this comment seems to propagate a stereotype that many believe — the notion that personality type is set in concrete and offers no chance for development or change. It prompted me to write an article about relationship dynamics. http://www.intj.org/articles/relationship-dynamics/